lemmilou:

….. EMMA IS PLASTERED!

Indeed

“I look so unattractive right now! If you saw me you’d be like “I so wouldn’t tap that”. I took my ponytail out because I was rolling around. I’d soo tap this dog right now. No, I’m not into bestiality. You have to believe me! …. Emilie… Guess what… Just guess… Alright I’ll tell you… You should find me a guy so I don’t have to drunk dial you. I’m going to talk to you as I take a shit………. This is an amazing shit.. I’m glad you were here to experience it with me… plop….. plop…. It smells so bad!”
–

Intoxicated best friend (via lemmilou)

thats me, bitch im fabulous